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搞笑小学生英语脱口秀台词

小学英语脱口秀台词 急求

I’ve completely lost in a make-believe world. I saw Snow White triumph the evil queen with seven dwarfs. I saw the Sleeping beauty woken up by the kiss of true love. I saw Cinderella was on a gorgeous prom dress decorated with sparking crystals. I saw magical pumpkin drove her to the beautiful palace and the glass slippers brought her Mr right.Of course they are just fairytales and never come true in real life.But I know there must be a fairy waiting on my life road and she will do some magic to help me, but I have to do something in exchange for it.At this moment,I have a deep understanding of that.And I have made my mind to spare no effect to get to that charming fairyland. 我完全沉浸在了虚拟空间里。

我看到了白雪公主与七个小矮人打败了邪恶的王后,我看到了睡美人被真爱之吻吻醒,我看到灰姑娘正穿着装饰华美的裙子,上面的水晶闪闪发光,我看到魔法南瓜车把她载到美丽的宫殿,玻璃鞋帮她找到了真命天子。

当然,它们只是童话,不会发生在真实世界。

但是我知道,在我的人生路上,一定有一个仙女在等我,她会用魔法帮助我,但我需要做些事情来作为交换。

现在,我对这了解的很深刻了。

我已经下定决心,要不遗余力的到达那迷人的仙境

求英语搞笑段子( 笑话、脱口秀 、独白 )越多越好 拜托了

What a big deal A young businessman had just started his business, and rented a beautiful office. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear busy, the businessman picked up the phone and pretended that he had a big deal working. He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments. Finally, he hung up and asked the visitor. “Can I help you?” The man said, “Sure. I’ve come to install the phone.”不够自己直接查百度那里很多

英语课堂脱口秀稿子

Hi, everybody. Hi! So I don't have too much time up here, before my green card expires. See I grew up in a poor neighborhood in China. The middle school that I went to one year decided to pave the dirt roads with bricks and cement. And the students were required to bring bricks to school and ...We worked really hard for 3 weeks and finally we built a road. Years later, I heard about the term: child labor. I was like, what?! Those kids got paid?!嗨,大家好啊!嗨!那个……我能表演的时间不多,因为我绿卡马上要过期了。

我是在中国的穷乡僻壤长大的。

我们初中某年突然决定要修整土路,铺上砖头和水泥,让学生们带砖头到学校来……我们玩命地干了三个礼拜终于把路修好了。

多年以后我听说了这个词:童工。

我立马就惊讶了,啥?!那些小孩干活还有钱拿?I got a D minus. But I read that younger kids nowadays can't even read the analog watches any more. They can only read the digital ones. I was like, how are they gonna report the locations of hot chicks in the future? It's gonna be like, Hot chick, 3 o'clock. I can't stay that long.我拿到的只是D-。

我看报道,如今的小孩都不会看手表了。

他们只能看懂电子表。

我心想,等他们长大以后该如何报告辣妹的位置啊?别人说,“辣妹在三点钟方向”。

我不能待那么久的。

So I came to the US for college and I was really into science, which really helped me in the romance department. Like once I asked this girl out and she said, no. I said, are you sure? And she said to me, hey Joe, NO means NO. I said, well... it also means Nitric Oxide.我来美国是读大学,我很喜欢科学,这对我的感情生活也大有裨益。

有一次,我来美国是读大学,我很喜欢科学,这对我的感情生活也大有裨益。

有一次,我约女孩子出去,她说不行。

我问,真不行啊?她说,嘿,Joe,NO就是不行的意思。

我说,NO也是一氧化氮啊。

And one year, I went to New Orleans for Mardi Gras. Here's something you guys should know about me. I don't approve of nudity in public. But when it happens, I want to be there.有一年,我去新奥尔良参加狂欢节。

对于我,你们要了解一点,我是不赞同公共场合赤身裸体的。

不过要是真有人这么干了,那我不能错过啊。

And when I first came to the United States, I took a English as a second language class. And the teacher there was too lazy to remember the students' names. So he just handed out a list of American names for us to choose from. And by the time I got the list, there were only two names left, so I just picked Joe instead of Jake. And the other day, I told that story to my son, Jake.我初到美国时,参加了英语培训课程。

我们

谁帮我写一段大学脱口秀台词,搞笑的。

请采纳我的问题1、一个女生前一天晚上得到男朋友的订婚戒指,但竟没有一个同学注意到,令她忿忿不平。

到下午大家坐着谈天的时候,她突然站起来大声说:“哎呀,这里真热呀,我看我还是把戒指脱下来吧。

”2、女主人把女佣叫到面前问她:“你是否怀孕了

”“是啊

”女佣回道。

“亏你还说得出口,你还没有结婚,难道不觉得害羞吗

”女主人再次训。

“我为什么要害羞,女主人你自己不也怀孕了吗

”“可是我怀的是我丈夫的

”女主人生气地反驳。

“我也是啊

”女佣高兴地附和。

3、一个人骑摩托车喜欢反穿衣服,就是把口子在后面扣上,可以挡风。

一天他酒后驾驶, 翻了,一头栽在路旁。

警察赶到:警察甲:好严重的车祸。

警察乙:是啊,脑袋都撞到后面去了。

警察甲:嗯,还有呼吸,我们帮他把头转回来吧。

警察乙:好.....一、二使劲,转回来了。

警察甲:嗯,没有呼吸了.......4、在一条七拐八拐的乡村公路上,因为时常发生车祸,所以常常有一些鬼故事发生,有一天晚上,有一个出租车司机看见路边有一个长发披肩,身着白衣的女人向他招手,因为这个司机没有见过鬼,所以大胆的停下来让她上车了,这一路上,司机虽然不信有鬼,心里也毛毛的,所以时常从后视镜看后面的女人,开着开着,突然司机发现那个女人不见了

司机吓了一大跳,赶紧踩了一个刹车

只见那个女人满脸是血,表情狰狞。

司机吓的牙直打颤。

突然那女人开口了:“你会不会开车啊

我低头系个鞋带你突然一刹车我把鼻子都撞破了……”5、一个病人去看病,医生检查了他,皱着眉头说:“您病得太严重了,恐怕不会活多久了。

” 病人:“求您告诉我我还能活多久

” 医生:“十……” 病人着急地问:“十什么

十年

十个月十天

” 医生:“十,九,八,七,六,五……”6、老师:“你能说一些18世纪科学家共同特点吗

”学生:“能,他们都死了。

”7、犀粪蜣和蚊子谈恋爱,蜣问蚊子是做什么工作的,蚊子说:“护士,打针的。

”蜣一拍大腿:“缘分呐,我是中药局搓药丸的…”8、一非洲人住在某一宾馆。

夜半,起火,不明原因。

非洲人见状顾不了那么许多,光着身子就跑出去了。

消防员见状惊呼:“我的妈呀

都烧的糊了吧区的了还能跑那么快

”9、一个人想出国考察,但必须得到老总批准。

于是他向老总请示,老总给了他一张字条,上面写着:“Go ahead”。

那人想:“Go ahead=前进,老总是批准了。

”于是他开始打点行李。

一个同事见到了他问:“你在做什啊

”他说:“我准备出国考察,老总批准了,给我写了‘Go ahead’。

” 同事一见条就乐了:“咱们老总根本就没批准

咱老总的英语水平你还不知道,他这是在说去个头

”10、牧师对买了他马和马车的农夫说:“这匹马只能听懂教会的语言,叫感谢上帝它就跑;叫赞美上帝它才停下。

”农夫将信将疑,他试着喊了一声感谢上帝,那匹马立刻飞奔起来,越跑越快。

一只跑到悬崖边上惊恐的农夫才想起让它停下来的口令“赞美上帝”。

果然,马停下来了。

死里逃生的农夫长出一口气:“感谢上帝………”我打了很久,请采纳

关于英语脱口秀段子,时间一分钟,青春励志的

Every mountain has a peak. Every valley has its low point. Life has its upsand downs, its peaks and its valleys. No one is up all the time, nor arethey down all the time. Problems do end. They are all resolved in time.每一座山都有巅峰,每一个峡谷都有谷底。

人生也有跌宕起伏,有高潮有低谷。

没有人有人一生都平步青云,也没有人有人一生都时乖命蹇。

难题总有了结的一天。

随着时间的推移,一切难题都会迎刃而解。

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